Grief and Forgiveness

Today, I took the time to go to the grave sites of some very special people that I am missing dearly. My dad in particular has been on my mind but I couldn't bring myself to go to his grave. As I was driving back from an airport drop-off my nerves begin to bother with me and I almost passed the Micanopy exit (intentionally honestly). It seem ed forever for me to come down Rochelle Rd like the Green Mile. As tears begin to form I realize that I hadn't been here last year his birthday all because it still seems unreal. As I go through my healing healing journey I know that I have to be honest with myself. I have lost many things and people rather it be by death or not they were a lost. And I come to realize that I have never dealt with any of them. I just kept going as if nother ever happened. Cry for a little and keep going. We have been told ao much just to pray and it will be ok. Yes, this is true but there are times that you will need a little extra help to get you through. We suppress so much and internalize things that we may have gone through or go through that we don't realize how much it has had or have a negative impact on our lives. As I sit next to my dad's grave I had to let him know that I forgive him. I forgive him for not protecting me, I forgive him for not showing me how a man is supposed to treat a woman , and so much more. I understand that he was young just like my mom when they had me. I understand that I will never get the answers that I desire. But in order for me to heal I have to surrender total forgiveness. Things that I didn't even realize was there I had to ask for his forgiveness. Ask God to forgive me. I choose to walk in total wholeness and be totally free and healed. I will not allow the trauma of my past come into my future. I encourage you to take a step back and take self-examination because there maybe some hidden trauma or issues or even unforgiveness going on. Allow God to show you so that you can walk in total healing and freedom.

Blessings unto you and remember God's Grace is Sufficient unto you!

”My flesh and my heart faileth: But God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.“

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭73‬:‭26‬ ‭KJV‬‬

”He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow].“

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭147‬:‭3‬ ‭AMP‬‬