Diary Entry

July 7, 2008, Diary entry: If I refuse to acknowledge that I have fallen and I am separated from GOD, who is my eternal source, I will find myself in a fallen condition unable to get up. Though now I am like Nebuchednezzder I refuse to ask for GOD’s help because I am ashamed, and I don’t want to continue to fall. (Daniel 4:34-36,37) To fall is bad enough but to fall and not cry out for help, refusing to repent for my sin is worst than the fall itself. I don’t think it’s my pride or maybe it is. I would not rather ask for help because people expect me to fall back into what I say GOD has brought me out of. Guess what? I have proven them right. Yes, I temporarily convinced myself that no one would know. But I know and GOD knows the sins I have committed. I don’t want to remain in a state of self-deception. Nor do I want my pride to bury me in a state of forgiveness. I have fallen and gotten back up again… But I don’t want to continue this see-saw cycle of going up and down. I want to live for God – authentically. So, Lord please hear me. I need you to remove this thorn from my flesh. This hindering spirit that’s keeping me from living for you. Lord, I give you honor and glory for my change and I thank you for doing it now. Amen.

I want to encourage you to be honest with yourself but most importantly be honest with God. Yes, He already knows but He wants you to cry out to Him. Me being honest there are times when there is a struggle. Not often though but I now can recognize when the enemy is being crafty. When loneliness set in or when I may be going through a particular situation. Knowing your triggers are important because then you can know how you and God can combat "it" no matter what the "it" is. Ps 73:26 says, " My flesh and my heart fails, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever." Know that God is your strength and He will help you and guide you in any situation. Your flesh may fall but God never will.

Blessing unto on today. ~Shronda